I once dealt with a prima donna on a movie set. I won't say who, but his first name is a country. A communist country. Run by Fidel Castro. Artie Lange castrocommunistcountry Change image and share on social
My father was a really good athlete, so his pop-ups really were sky high. Eventually I learned how to judge them properly and catch them well. It was great training for when I started to play on teams, which I did all through school. Artie Lange athletecatcheventually share on social
Unlike a lot of comics, I didn't care about getting on 'Saturday Night Live.' That show had such history and was so established that I didn't see the point. Artie Lange carecomicestablish Change image and share on social
It's a life of five-card draw, and you know what? When God asked me - I'm fine with the card I got. I'm gonna play this. Artie Lange askcarddraw Change image and share on social
My dad was Superman to me, and in my mind he always will be. Artie Lange dadmindsuperman Change image and share on social
I never went through a period were I wanted to be a doctor, a cop or even a rock star. All I wanted to do was play short stop for the Yankees from the time I was about 5. Then I turned 15 and realized how silly that was and just gave up on it. Artie Lange copdoctorgive share on social
I have been in a lot of movies, but none of them are critics' darlings, you might say. Artie Lange criticdarlinglot Change image and share on social
Richard Lewis has this incredible ability to look like he's just... you know it's an act that's been honed. What you have to do in standup is create spontaneity, somehow; even though you've done this act a million times, you gotta look like you're almost just thinking of it now, to make it entertainer. Artie Lange abilityactcreate share on social
Richard Lewis is the master at taking a joke that he's told a million times in a row in the past year, on the road, and making it look like he's pulling it out of thin air. Artie Lange airjokelewis Change image and share on social